Episode 1: "The Farmer's Daughter"
Campaign Date: The year 467, Yeb 15th
GM: Dave Nelson
Characters:
Assphinctersayswhat, half-elf, lawful good, fighter/magic-user/thief 1 (Andrew Smith)

Log:
The story starts with our hero, Assphinctersayswhat, an albino half-elf, lawful good, fighter-magic-user-thief, who had somehow lost both ears, was tone-deaf.

He went into the outlaw town of "Outland" to rescue Samantha the Farmer's daughter. In the sqare he met an Orkin Bandit (1/8 orc, 7/8ths human) and Pimp-slapped him into spilling where slavers might be hiding. He pointed to the "Drunken Charging Halfling" Tavern (name generated with the Hackmaster random tavern name generator of course). As our hero departed the other 3 bandits in the square brutally mocked the orkin for his major loss of honor from being pimp-slapped around by an albino earless half-elf.

Inside the tavern, the bartender, Benson the Gnome, (race and name from the random bartender tables of course), told him that 3 goblins had come through with a prisoner, but had gone into the tunnels under the town.

Our hero followed them down and killed them all off one by one, He used "Grease" spells to make two of the combats much easier, causing the goblins to keep on dropping their clubs. His leather armor was completely destroyed by the end of the combats, he also fumbled once and cracked the handle of his military fork (-1 to hit). Before he awoke the bound Samantha, he most impolitely ravished her, gaining 3 Alignment Infraction Points in the process (hardly Lawful Good now was it).

Angawa Battle Cry: Hoo-Dee-Hoo