May 9th 114
Krodar, Smack 'em, Ebil, Wulfred and Fafnir stepped out of the Crossroads Peddlar to discover themselves lost and alone on the coast of an ice-choked sea. The gang builds a fire and discusses what is to be done. It is soon agreed that they should send Wulfred off to discover where they are and how they can get home. Wulfred slinks along the coast and spots a pair of shepherds with a flock of large, wolly sheep. He kills both shepherds and brings back some sheep for dinner, forgetting that he was supposed to be searching for information.
May 10th 114
A large warband of Ice Barbarians under the leadership of a local lord, Jarl Stut-bjorn the Unhygenic, descend upon the gang's camp looking for revenge for the slain shepherds. The gang flees to the west, stumbling onto the hall of Stut-bjorn's neighbor and rival Jarl Finn of the Two Spear-points. Krodar makes an empassioned speech calling upon the ancient barbarian code of hospitality. The Jarl's wizard, Unferth Six-Toes, counters with the ancient law that says anyone shipwrecked on clan land is property of the Jarl. At this point,
May 11th 114
At this point, the gang huddled together for a quick discussion. Ebil pointed out that: 1) Barbarians respect strength most of all, 2) Ebil escaped being the slave of his clan, and there was no way he’d ever allow himself to be the property of anyone…ever, and 3) We’re the Mighty Get ‘Em Gang so seriously…how do you think this is going to end? We demand a trial by combat, to be allowed to go about our way. Krodar stepped forawrd, demanded the right of trial by combat from the Jarl. He laughed, and said “Very Well, pick your champion.” Then he strode over to the hall and called out “Ulf, come out, I have work for you.” Out stepped Ulf, a 7 foot tall goliath warrior carrying a huge club.
To everyone's surprise, the gang chose Smack 'Em as champion. He very quickly toasted the warrior using witchcraft and treachery. The barbarians, in a mixture of superstitious dread, respect and amusement, granted the gang safe transport on a long boat to any point as far south as the Barony of Ratik or the Bone March.
May 12th to June 12th 114
The gang boards the ship “Long Wasp” under the command of Captain Thurvold Troll-Killer and sets sail to the East. A long, perilous journey ensued. The dangers weren't really that bad. The seas were only mildly rough, so the get-em gang were only mildly sick. The supplies (and more importantly the beer-barrels) were rapidly emptied, and equally rapidly refilled from lightning-quick raids into villages passed along the way (that's how barbarians say hello to foreigners, by pillaging and plundering), with which the get-em's enthusiastically applied themselves. The barbarians were mildly disappointed when they put the Mighty Get 'Em Gang ashore in the bone march, just outside of Johnsport. None of their number had died, their holds were full of plunder to be traded, and the get-em's turned down an offer to join their crew for another trip. The barbarians were horrbly disappointed, however, when the Mighty Get 'Em Gang suddenly yelled 'Smirkenburg!', slaughtered them to a man, and sold their boat and wares in town to further finance their trip onward home to Irongate.
June 13th-June 25th 114
The Mighty Get'Em Gang decides that they have had enough of the sea and opt to travel overland back to Irongate. They gather supplies and follow the Teesar Torrent into the Blemu Hills. The trip is very eventful as they seem to raise the ire of locals over and over again through a series of misunderstanding and hijinx. First, Wulfred mistakenly helps himself to the goods of a cart bound for the nearby lord, prompting a manhunt. Second, Smack'Em's appearances at several of the small provincial taverns raises the ire of the more rustic locals. Finally, an all out assault on the gang's position by an arrogant nobleman prompts retribution most grave from the adventuring company. The milita is called out, and the gang just barely escapes with their lives into the Blemu Hills.
June 25th-July 4th
In the Blemu hills, the gang happens on a strange hermit and his wife. The hermit tells the group about an absurdly valuable artifact left over from the days of the titans that lies in the bottom of a dungeon pit known only as the Well of Souls. After fending off several advances from the hermit's much younger and aggressive mate, the gang sets off in search of the “Bucket of the Titans”.
July 5th-July 9th
The well of souls turned out to be aptly named. The Mighty Get 'Em Gang discovers a small clan of diabolical yuan-ti led by a powerful female spellcaster, that had been busily creating undead out of the masses and masses of humanoid remains interred in various places throughout the complex (for some dire purpose or other). After a fierce series of battles, the yuan-ti are put to the sword and their undead minions destroyed. The gang finds a vault door, locked and apparently never successfully opened by the cave's former occupants. Cautiously they open the door.
Inside the vault, lay an glowing construction of unknown purpose and powerful enchantment. Apparently constructed of marble, it was several times the height of a man. The upper part was a large box with a metal lever, and the lower part was a huge pool which tapered down to the floor. After several hours of consideration, the Might Get 'Em Gang worked out that it was an ancient titan's privy, of no real use to anybody but a titan who had to go potty, and (pausing only long enough to attempt to hurt the now-mysteriously missing hermit and his wife) decided to continue their journey.
July 10th-August 30 Desperate to return to Irongate, the gang buy a wagon and disguise themselves as a travelling medicine show in order to cross the Great Kingdom to reach the port city of Rel Astra in order to catch a ship. Since they are unfamiliar with the territory, this trek takes over six weeks. They are rather shocked at the abject conditions of the serfs in the Great Kingdom, where the fees applies to vassal farmers are three times as high as elsewhere, and where the overlords have the right of “summary justice” over the lower orders.
When one younger nobleman decided he wanted to use Smack 'Em for bait at a bear-baiting event, the resulting brawl ended with the nobleman and his guards dead. The gang ditched the wagon and the roads and skulked like outlaws (well, to be fair they were outlaws) across country for the last week's travel into Rel Astra.
August 31st 114
In Rel Astra, the gang bought passage on a cargo ship bound for Irongate. The price was high, since they wanted “no questions asked” in order to avoid any imperial entanglements.
Booking passage with a freelance profiteer (i.e. smuggler), the halfling captain Sans Holo just made it out of the harbor and away just as a several imperial man-o-war closed on their location. Their noble ship, the Centennial Chicken, was a sleek, fast ship whose experienced crew easily took advantage of the imperial ship's poor handling, and even worse worse marksmanship, to make for open waters.
On the voyage, the captain asked them why they went so far out of their way to get to Rel Astra for a ship, when walking direct from the Blemu Hills might have been shorter. To this, Wulfred responded “Mr. Nosey Question has a brother you know, his name is “Shut the hell up.””
September 1st-October 15th
The gang sails along the eastern coasts and around the horn, returning to Irongate at last.