Table of Contents

May 3, 2013

Opening Scene

Riff: Hey everyone! Welcome to the Morning Madhouse with Riff and Sami here on HOT 93.5! How are you doing this morning Sami?

Sami: Doing great, Riff-pal! It’s Friday, which as you know is my favorite day because of…well you know. Parties! Parties, banquets, and balls!

Riff: That’s right. Balls! Friday night! I can’t wait. So, what’s today’s topic Sami?

Sami: Well I was thinking, and it has been so true recently…

Riff: What’s that, Sami? That I’m incredibly lucky to be in radio because I’m ugly?

Sami: No! Not at all. No. Today’s topic today is… “Is your boss a vampire?”

Riff: Hmm. “Is your boss a vampire?” That’s a good one, Sami.

Sami: Thank you!

Riff: So let’s open the phones everyone! Call in if your boss is a vampire. Tell us why you think so and how you can’t wait for that garlic martini later on tonight to drive them out of your life forever! Caller, you are on the air!

Caller #1: My boss is a vampire…because he can suck on my fat, hairy, asshole!

Sami: Oh my! What a way to start the morning!

Riff: Nice one, caller. Okay…next! Tell us, “Is your boss a vampire?”

Caller #2: Oh my gawd, yes! Just the other day she was all the way down the hall and me an’ my friend Merissa we just whispering about how much of a total bitch she is what with all the stuff she wants for these fancy folks she’s hosting.

Sami: Yeah? And?

Caller #2: Well anyway, somehow she can hear us whispering! She tells us if she catches us doing it again she’ll *terminate* me! Either she’s got supernatural powers or she’s got the whole place bugged or something! I don’t know!

Riff: Well good luck with that caller! Next up…Pat. Is your boss a vampire?

Pat: Totally. My boss is a sick, bloodsucking, two-timing trampy vampire!

Sami: Wow. Harsh, Pat. What makes you think your boss is a vampire.

Pat: Well, first of all. We’ve been lovers now for at least six months.

Riff: Hey there! We’ve made a love connection, ladies and gentlemen!

Sami: Juicy! Tell us more. So you’re “doinking” the boss. How is the pay?

Pat: Well, that’s just it! He bites me, sucks my blood, and then I’m woozy.

Riff: Woozy? Seriously? Are you doing it right, Pat? Because that’s not how…

Pat: Hell yeah, I am! I think so. He’s got a vineyard that he works on all night too!

Sami: Waitaminute? This guy doesn’t even come out during the day!

Pat: He’s a vampire! I’m telling you!

Riff: He’s a vampire all right. Vineyards totally go with vampires. Right?

Pat: Well, then he uses these creepy vampire magic powers to control these vines! I’ve seen him trap a whole bunch of us right out in the field if he’s angry!

Sami: Whoah. Now Pat, calm down!

Pat: I’m telling you, we’ve got vampires crawling all over York! There is a vampire war being fought and we just happen to be caught in the crossfire! That high school animal control tragedy? Vampires! I’m telling you. Wake up sheeple!

[DEAD AIR]

Riff: Sorry folks…technical…difficulty. Now back to the music with…um…Taylor Swift and her new song “My Ex-Boyfriend is Awful”.

Sami: [whispered] Please…anyone…help us!

Synopsis

Player Characters Present