Zerkwad is a war cleric from the tribes of berserkers in the Vestkrag mountains. He is very superstitious. He won't sleep around live birds. He refuses to steal from the dead - except from the undead in which case he takes EVERYTHING because those monsters deserve to have nothing in the afterlife. He won't step on cracks in masonry. He won't adventure on the sabbath day. The sabbath is not the same day every week. He always drinks with his left hand. He won't step on other peoples' shadows, unless he wants them to die a horrible death in the future. He believes he has already died once and come back to life, but that is debatable because he may have just been REALLY drunk. Spitting into the darkness makes the lords of shadows allow mortals to see in the pitch black.

Zerkwad believes that halflings are cursed evil-people. He hates them with a passion and refuses to deal with them. Zerkwad doesn't read, and believes that books will drain the life from you through the power of the written word. Zerkwad has a terrible phobia of snakes and believes that foul humors falling from above into his face and mouth is a good omen. He refuses to wear a bag over his head unless under the open night sky of stars in which case it is important to do so. He is angry at fish people. They are the worst kind of people. Zerkwad has a fear of mirrors. He believes that the “duplicate” inside the mirror wants to murder him in his sleep. Lighting an open flame in a candle shop before nighttime is a bad idea because it invokes the attention of evil spirits.

The barbarian wads are not beholden to civilized tropes of romance and marriage. Zerkwad himself has four “fathers” each of whom had relations with his mother. Zerkwad considers the epithet “motherf*cker” to be a term of endearment amongst his people.

The Wad family motto is from the ancient common tongue and reads: “Si obeas Richardwados omnem diem, forte tu est Richardwadus”

Links:

• Shumphold Scouting Report
• The Coronation Notes

Class/Level: Cleric - 12
AC: 19 (Quench Plate and Shield)
HP: 54
Base move 30'; In armor: 25'
Species: Human
Saving Throw: 4

Initiate of Isis & Osiris
Turn Undead
Alignment: Lawful

STR-16, INT-10, WIS-13, DEX-11, CON-14, CHA-10
+1 Damage with melee and hurled weapons (+3 with magic hammer)
+6 Base Attack Bonus (+8 with magic hammer)

Adventuring Skills (D10): Recruitment, Alchemy, Shield Sacrifice, Berserk Rage, Quick Draw, Alert Reaction
(Each character can choose 1 Skill from the General List at First Level and then another at 3rd, 5th, 7th and 9th. After 9th he gains no more skills. Humans gain one additional General Skill at first level)

Languages: Common
Permanent Wound: -1 CON - Healed in November/December 2023
Addiction to Gallumpsh - Acquired November 2023

Gold: 19,122.35 gp ⇒ 10% to church of Isis and Osiris
500gp carried in belt pouch when adventuring

XP: 293,485 (13th @ 300,000)

quench plate armor featuring shining helmet, 2x rowan shield, six torches, bag of raw donkey meat, herbal bag, potions bandolier, +2 magic warhammer, silver holy symbol (ankh), alchemist's kit, belt pouch with 500gp, potion bag

Magic Staves and Talismans

• Talisman of Dispel Magic (39-3-1-1-1-13-1-5-2=12 charges)
• Talisman of Healing (39-2-1-1-1-2-1-1-2=28 charges)
• Scepter of the Battle Master: Scepter of the Battle Master: as an attack action, the holder of this scepter can have allies in a 40’x40’ area either re-roll failed saves, re-roll a failed morale check, add 15’ to the round’s movement, or get +1 to hit and damage to their next attack. Tier M.
• Staff of healing (39-5-1-2-2-6-9-5-1-1-2=5 charges)
  • Given to Lily
  • Given to Renly

Items 16 of 16

Free Gear: clothes, backpack, flint and steel, belts and scabbards, two emergency sacks, light wand attached to his shield

• 1 x Potion of Heal Wounded
• 2 x Neutralize Poison Potion
• 1 x Remove Disease Potion

With up to two potions to stay under my limit

• 1 x Clairvoyance Potion (Scry: The caster is able to see and hear anything visible/audible from a chosen spot within 60’ of his current location, whether through walls, inside buildings, chests or graves, or even underground. It requires 20’ of stone or a thin layer of lead to stop the scry. This spell can be cast through a crystal ball, and so the 60’ area would be from the location viewed through the crystal ball itself.)
• 1 x Potion of Healing

• 5 x Comfrey root (healing 1d4 1xday)
• 2 x Birthwart (for poison)
• 2 x Belladonna (for lycanthropy)
• 1 x Chaulmoogra Oil (for oozes)
• 1 x Garlic (for making vampires cringe)
• 3 x Goldenrod (25% to cure a disease)
• 1 x Wolfsbane (for turning lycanthropes)
• 3 x Tamarid (for mummy rot)

• 13 x Essence of Krangor (If breathed in, 75% chance that it will instantly impart 6 temporary hit points but 25% it will do 1d3 damage instead)
• 7 x Dust of Appearance

• Gold left at home = 500 less than what is above
• Dragon scale armor (as chain)
• 2 x spare shield
• Spare sturdy shield
• Bag of caltrops
• Regular mace
• Crowbar
• MW warhammer (+1 attack AND DAMAGE vs. Plate)
• Sling and a dozen 11 bullets - six of them silvered
• food bag 7 rations
• plate armor

• 0 x Holy Water (20gp / 1day each)

• 1 x Tanglers
• 3 x Liver Squeezins
• 9 x Dust of Appearance
• 4 x Assassin's Hemp (for morale of NPCs)
• 4 x Woundwart (healing an extra point if you rest for a day)
• 2 x Rod of Deal Light Wounds (1D6+1 once per day)
  

• 7 x Potions of Healing
• 2 x Neutralize Potion
• 1 x Speak with Animals Potion
• 2 x Potion of Darkvision (for 1d6+6 turns)
• 1 x Potion of Mind Reading

• Potion of Heal Wounded (100 each to make + 1 week, 125gp each from temple)
• Neutralize Poison Potion (200 to make + 2 weeks, 250 each from temple)
• Remove Disease Potion (300gp to make + 3 weeks, 500gp from temple)
• Comfrey Root (10 gp), Essence of Krangor (150gp)
• Pint of Wine (5sp)
• White Lotus (100gp)

Spells Memorized: (1st Level - 3, 2nd Level - 3, 3rd level - 3, 4th level - 3, 5th level - 3, 6th level - 2, Lawful - 1, Blessing - 1):

Standard Spells

1st Level

• Heal Wounded (x3)

2nd Level

• Find Traps
• Protection From Chaos
• Speak with Animals -OR- Augury

3rd Level

• Cure Disease
• Remove Curse
• Stand the Fallen

4th Level

• Heal the Wounded 10' radius (x2)
• Animal Friendship -OR- Speak With Dead
• Protection from Chaos 10' radius (Lawful)

5th Level

• Blessed Immunity
• Blessed Immunity -OR - Commune
• Dispel Elementals

6th Level

• Great Feat (Blessing)
• Summon the Faithful
• Summon the Faithful -OR- True Seeing

A character with this skill may take 1 combat round to prepare and then on a successful skill check will go into a mad battle-rage, gaining +2 on his “to-hit” rolls, does not need to make Morale Checks, and gets +6 to saves vs Fear spells or effects. It takes a skill roll to set aside the rage (one try per round, but it does not cost an attack or move), or else the character will keep hacking enemies or dead bodies in sight and start making a lot of screaming noise (wandering monster on 5-6 on 1d6 each round).

In the past, Zerkwad has helped re-found the Temple of Nerthuz in Wheatabix by propping up the upkeep of temple guards and monks as well as installing his follower Delicate Lily as its head priestess. Unfortunately, Lily perished in February of 2023.

In October of 2023, Zerkwad recruited Simper Fido as his henchman. Fido later perished in a fight against snake-men a month later in November 2023.

Paid Maintenance for 03/07/2021 game (150gp)
Paid Maintenance for 04/03/2021 game (150gp)
Paid Maintenance for 04/10/2021 game (21gp = 3 HD / 7 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 05/01/2021 game (54gp = 3 HD / 18 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 05/16/2021 game (21gp = 3HD / 14 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 06/27/2021 game (164gp = 4HD / 41 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 08/22/2021 game (56gp = 4HD / 28 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 09/05/2021 game (35gp = 5HD / 14 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 09/19/2021 game (35gp = 5HD / 14 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 10/03/2021 game (52.5gp = 5HD / 21 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 10/17/2021 game (52.5gp = 5HD / 21 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 11/30/2021 game (110gp = 5HD / 44 days)
Paid Maintenance through 2021 (77.5pg 5HD/ 31 days)
Paid Maintenance for Sandra through 2021 (60gp 2HD/60 days)
Paid Maintenance for 01/01/2022 - 02/28/2022 (236gp 6HD+2HD / 59 days)
Paid Maintenance for 03/01/2022 - 03/31/2022 (139.5gp 7HD+2HD / 31 Days)
Paid Maintenance for 04/01/2022 - 04/30/2022 (135gp 7HD+2HD / 30 Days)
Paid Lizard Maintenance for 04/01/0200 - 04/30/2022 (180gp 2*6HD /30days)
Paid Maintenance for 05/01/2022 - 05/30/2022 - (135gp 7HD+2HD / 30 Days)
Paid Lizard Maintenance for 05/01/2022 - 05/30/2022 - (180gp 2*6HD /30days)
Paid Maintenance for 06/01/2022 - 07/30/2022 - (600gp 8HD+2HD * 60 days)
Paid Maintenance for Lizards for 06/01/2022 - 07/30/2022 (360gp 2*6HD * 60days)
Paid for Sondra's Funeral 200gp
Paid Maintenance for Lizards and Zerk for 08/01/2022 - 08/30/2022 (420gp = 8HD + 6HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Temple of Nerthuz in Wheatabix 08/15/2022 - (480gp = 32HD 16+16 * 15 days)
Paid Maintenance for Notchet fo Wheatabix 08/01/2022 - 08/30/2022 (30gp)
Paid Maintenance for Temple of Nerthuz in Wheatabix 09/01/2022 - 09/30/2022 (960gp= 32HD 16+16 * 30 days)
Paid Maintenance for Notchet fo Wheatabix 09/01/2022 - 09/30/2022 (30gp)
Paid Randy to watch the Frat House from 09/01/2022 - 09/30/2022 (30gp)
Paid for recruiting and maintenance for Lily from 09/20/2022 - 09/30/2022 (150gp = 5*10+100)

Paid Maintenance for 10/01/2022 - 10/30/2022 - (240gp = 8HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Notchet of Wheatabix 10/01/2022 - 10/30/2022 (30gp)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 10/01/2022 - 10/30/2022 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid Maintenance for 11/01/2022 - 11/30/2022 - (240gp = 8HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 11/01/2022 - 11/30/2022 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid Maintenance for 12/01/2022 - 12/30/2022 - (270gp = 9HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 12/01/2022 - 12/30/2022 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid Maintenance for 01/01/2023 - 01/30/2023 - (270gp = 9HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 01/01/2023 - 01/30/2023 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid Maintenance for 02/01/2023 - 02/30/2023 - (270gp = 9HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 02/01/2023 - 02/30/2023 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid Maintenance for 03/01/2023 - 03/30/2023 - (300gp = 10HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 03/01/2023 - 03/30/2023 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid for three months of Lilly's Potion Creation 01/2023-03/2023 = (4 weeks * 3 months * 100gp) = 1200

Paid Maintenance for 04/01/2023 - 04/30/2023 - (300gp = 10HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 04/01/2023 - 04/30/2023 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid Maintenance for 05/01/2023 - 05/30/2023 - (300gp = 10HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 05/01/2023 - 05/30/2023 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid Maintenance for 06/01/2023 - 06/30/2023 - (300gp = 10HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily of Wheatabix 06/01/2023 - 06/30/2023 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)

Paid for three months of Staff Creation 04/2023-06/2023 = 2000gp (43 days/successful level 1 spell staff) Paid for three months of Lilly's Potion Creation 04/2023-06/2023 = (4 weeks * 3 months * 100gp) = 1200

Paid for Up To Gnome Good to survey the seven hexes of the Shump Freehold - 1000gp

Paid Maintenance for 07/01/2023 - 07/30/2023 - (300gp = 10HD * 30days)
Paid Maintenance for Lily 07/01/2023 - 07/30/2023 (150gp = 5HD * 30 Days)
Adventuring equipment for Lily 1150 gp
Paid Maintenance for Temple of Wheatabix 07/01/2023 - 07/30/2023 (960gp = 2HD * (8 Guards + 8 Monks) * 30 Days)

Hired Up To Gnome Good to help mind Shump Freehold for July 2023 - 350gp

Helped pay for the road with 2000gp

Hired Up To Gnome Good to help mind Shump Freehold for August 2023 - 700gp
Paid Maintenance for 08/01/2023 - 08/30/2023 - (330gp = 11HD * 30days)

Paid Maintenance for 09/01/2023 - 09/30/2023 - (330gp = 11HD * 30days * .5 for the Shumphold)
Paid Maintenance for 10/01/2023 - 10/30/2023 - (330gp = 11HD * 30days * .5 for the Shumphold)

Paid Maintenance for 11/01/2023 - 11/30/2023 - (330gp = 11HD * 30days * .5 for the Shumphold)
Paid Maintenance for Simper Fido 11/01/2023 - 11/30/2023 - (30gp = 2HD * 30days * .5 for the Shumphold)

Paid Maintenance for 12/01/2023 - 12/30/2023 - (180gp = 12HD * 30days * .5 for the Shumphold)
Paid Maintenance for 01/01/2023 - 01/30/2023 - (180gp = 12HD * 30days * .5 for the Shumphold)
Paid Maintenance for 02/01/2023 - 02/30/2023 - (180gp = 12HD * 30days * .5 for the Shumphold)